5 tips for managing holiday stress

MEANS PLANNING, SHOPPING AND A WHOLE LOT OF HOLIDAY STRESS. AND EVEN THOUGH IT’S A TIME FOR CHEER AND CELEBRATION, MANY PEOPLE MAY FEEL THE OPPOSITE OF THAT WE HAVE. JOINING US TODAY, GARY AND TRACY DUMAS, TO TALK ABOUT TIPS ON MANAGING YOUR STRESS THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS AND YOU BOTH WORK WITH WITH COUPLES A LOT, ESPECIALLY WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT AND EMOTIONAL FITNESS. SO WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS? BASICALLY AS BEST YOU CAN. YES. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. AND JUST AS I GO INTO THAT, THE REASON WHY I, WE PUT THIS SERIES TOGETHER IS BECAUSE WE WOULD COUNSEL PEOPLE THAT WOULD DO LIKE, REALLY WELL THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE YEAR. BUT WHEN IT GETS TO AROUND THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS WHEN THINGS START TAPERING OFF. SO ONE OF THE THINGS OF THE FIVE THAT I USUALLY TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, REAL SIMPLE, BUT CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR SOME, IS TO PACE YOURSELF, SLOW DOWN. IT’S EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE. THE ANXIETY CAN HAPPEN AND SOMETIMES WE MAKE THE WORST DECISIONS WHEN WE’RE LIKE IN ANXIETY TYPE MODE, RIGHT? SO WE REALLY WANT TO PACE YOURSELF. YEAH. AND TRACY, YOU PROBABLY SEE THAT A LOT AS WELL, ESPECIALLY WITH WOMEN WHO SOMETIMES ARE CARRYING MORE OF THE EMOTIONAL LOAD FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY, MAKING SURE EVERYTHING’S BOUGHT, EVERYTHING’S READY, EVERYTHING’S PREPPED. YES, YES, I KNOW ALL TOO WELL ABOUT THAT. AND SO YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, WE GET CAUGHT UP INTO EVERYTHING THAT WE’RE DOING AND WE JUST FORGET WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT? IT’S ABOUT BEING GRATEFUL AND BEING THANKFUL. AND I THINK THAT IS WHAT HELPS ME IS TO REALLY REALIZE WHAT I’M DOING THIS FOR. RIGHT? SO NUMBER ONE, PACE YOURSELF. NUMBER TWO, THINK ABOUT WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO GIVING GIFTS, ESPECIALLY AT THIS DAY AND SEASON. A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE WANT TO GIVE GIFTS, AND MOST OF THE TIMES PEOPLE NEVER EVEN USE. RIGHT. YOU KNOW? AND SO WE WANT TO REALLY THINK THINGS THROUGH CAREFULLY, WHICH IS NUMBER THREE, WHICH TIES INTO NUMBER TWO, THINK THINGS THROUGH CAREFULLY. WHEN YOU GIVE AWAY A GIFT THIS YEAR, MAKE SURE IT’S SOMETHING THAT’S MEANINGFUL, WHICH IS NUMBER FOUR, MAKE SURE IT’S MEANINGFUL, SOMETHING THAT THEY CAN REALLY USE, SOMETHING THAT CAN REALLY HELP THEM TO DEESCALATE IN THOSE TIMES OF NEED. AND MOST OF ALL, SOMETHING THAT THEY CAN ACTUALLY APPRECIATE, WHICH WAS TO MY WIFE’S POINT. YES. OKAY. AND THEN LET’S TALK ABOUT NUMBER FIVE. NUMBER FIVE, YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE. DO THE DO’S AND DON’T THE DON’TS. DO THE DO’S AND DON’TS. AT THE END OF THE DAY LISA, WE KNOW WHAT TO DO AS A MATTER OF US DOING IT. WE KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO. IT’S A MATTER OF US NOT DOING IT RIGHT. SO THAT WAY YOU CAN MAKE IT PERSONAL AND TAILOR IT TO WHATEVER WORKS BEST FOR YOU. BUT DO THE DO’S AND DON’T THE DON’TS. YEAH, AND TRACY, IT SOUNDS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, THOUGH. OH, YOU KNOW THAT AS A WOMAN, AS A MOTHER, WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DO. SO WE END UP DOING MOST OF THE DON’TS. BUT WE NEED TO SPEND SO MUCH MONEY AND WE REGRET IT LATER. SO BUT IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO DO THE DO’S AND NOT THE DON’TS. YEAH. WHAT ABOUT WHEN, YOU KNOW, LIKE AS WE GET READY TO GATHER FOR THANKSGIVING AND FAMILIES COMING OVER, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE DON’TS THAT YOU SHOULD DO AT THE DINNER TABLE, ESPECIALLY WITH FAMILY, THAT MAYBE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH POLITICALLY OR RELIGIOUSLY OR. WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU JUST ANSWERED IT. DON’T GET INTO THOSE CONVERSATIONS IF YOU KNOW THAT CAN BE A TRIGGER. AND I’LL TALK ABOUT TRIGGERS A LOT, BECAUSE ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT TRIGGERS, LISA, IS THAT PEOPLE OVERLOOK THOSE TRIGGERS AND THEY DON’T OR THEY DON’T REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A TRIGGER IT WAS TO AFTER THEY WERE TRIGGERED. RIGHT. AND SO THEY OVERLOOK IT IN THE BEGINNING. AND THEN BY THEM OVERLOOKING IT, IT JUST INTENSIFIES AND INTENSIFIES. AND BY THE TIME YOU GET TO REACTION OUT OF YOU, YOU’RE OVER THE TOP. SO STAY AWAY FROM IT. IF YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY KNOW THAT THERE’S A CONVERSATION THAT YOU JUST SHOULD NOT HAVE, DON’T HAVE IT AND DON’T COMPROMISE. DON’T WAVER. WHAT DO YOU THINK? TRACY IS THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE TO COUNSEL COUPLES ON THIS TIME OF YEAR? COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION REGARDING FINANCES IS A BIG ONE. YOU KNOW, WE’RE LIVING IN A TIME WHERE THINGS ARE TOUGH FINANCIALLY. THERE’S SO MUCH GOING ON OUT HERE AND AND FINANCIAL IS LIKE ONE OF THE BIGGEST THINGS RIGHT NOW. AND SO THAT’S THE BIGGEST ONE IS JUST BEING ABLE TO BE TRANSPARENT WITH ONE ANOTHER AND BE HONEST ABOUT WHERE WE ARE FINANCIALLY. AND AS GARY SAID, NOT DO WHAT WE DON’T NEED TO DO. RIGHT. DO ONLY WE WASTE SO MUCH MONEY WITH FOOD AND EVERYTHING ELSE. SO LIVE. LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS. MAKE A BUDGET, BE HONEST, FINANCIAL WITHIN THAT YOU CAN DO A LOT WITHIN THE MEANS, RIGHT? YOU KNOW, I KNOW OUR BIRTHDAYS. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. OUR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP ALL IN THE SAME WEEK OF DECEMBER. AND RIGHT NOW FOR ME, SPA TREATMENT. I DON’T WANT ANYTHING ELSE, NO GOING OUT AND WASTING TIME ON ANYTHING, WASTING MONEY. I WANT TO GO TO THE SPA AND I KNOW WHAT MY WIFE’S GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT. HE’S JUST GOT TO WRITE THAT INTO THE BUDGET. YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAMPLES? ALL RIGHT. TRACY. GARY, THANK YOU